There’s a need for speed on PGA Tour
By Gene Wojciechowski
ORLANDO, Fla. — In the time it takes Kevin Na to hit a putt you can watch Seasons 1-6 of “Lost.” You can see your fingernails grow. You can retrace the voyages of Magellan.
I don’t know if Na is the slowest player in professional golf, but according to one PGA Tour rules official I spoke with Thursday, he’s in the Final Four of pokiness. Na is so slow that snails ask if they can play through.
Time doesn’t stand still when Na plays; it goes backward. The only thing brief about him is his last name.
If the tour is wondering why viewers sometimes nod off during telecasts, or why you can measure round times with sundials, Na is Exhibit A. And if the tour doesn’t do something about him — and others like him — you’re going to have to buy a day/night pass to watch a tournament.
I spent a numbing 4 hours and 46 minutes following the threesome of Na, Chad Campbell and Paul Goydos during the first round of the Arnold Palmer Invitational. They teed off at 7:52 a.m. and completed their round at 12:38 p.m. At 12:39 I chugged battery acid.
Only one threesome teed off before them — not that we ever saw it. Na & Co. never had to wait to hit a shot, were never slowed by any official rulings and had only one instance when a player (Goydos) dunked a shot in the water and had to drop. And it still took nearly FIVE HOURS!
It’s not that the tour isn’t aware it has a pace-of-play issue. Every pro on the Bay Hill driving range knows that Na moves slower than frozen maple syrup. And he isn’t the only guy who is speed-challenged.
You could build an acropolis in the time it takes J.B. Holmes to finish a round of golf. Webb Simpson and Ben Crane aren’t much better. And there others (Campbell had his moments Thursday) who play as if they’re being paid by the hour.
“We talk about it every [players] meeting,” said tour veteran Pat Perez. “Every meeting we talk about pace of play and we talk about course setup. But it never changes. It’s a waste of time to talk about it. People aren’t going to change their routine. We’re playing for millions of dollars a week out here. Guys are not going to change their routine just to finish. In their mind, they’re in no hurry.”
Perez plays as if his golf shoes are on fire. He sees ball. He hits ball.
Na sees ball and then contemplates the meaning of life. No golf shot deserves that much attention.
I kept a stopwatch on each of the 74 shots he hit Thursday. I wouldn’t start the clock until he got his yardage and pulled a club from his bag for tee shots, iron shots or wedge shots. And I wouldn’t press the start button until it was Na’s turn to putt and everyone else had marked his ball or finished out.
There’s no getting around it though: Na is sloooooooow. By the time the Na threesome reached the eighth tee box, a rules official was there waiting for them.
“Hey, guys, a hole’s opened up,” said the official. “You’re 8 minutes over [the accepted pace of play].”
Gee, what a surprise that an official warning was issued. Na isn’t noticeably slower than his partners on most shots — usually something in the 20-30-second range. It’s when his cleats touch the greens that Na pulls the parachute on his pace of play.
Should it take 1 minute and 28 seconds to hit a single putt? It does if you’re Na. To watch Na and his caddie, Kenny Harms, obsess over a putt is to watch two bumblebees circle a flower stem.
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